Lee has "seen it all" and "done it all". Who could be better to
help you out of a tight, dodgy spot in life? Through a medium, Granny
Lee will answer all your questions about love, life and toothless
oral sex with all the wit and wisdom she can muster from the grave.
saw your documentary, and I think you were the best (still are),
but I want to know, I have pledged money, I got all my friends to
pledge. I even got the people from my chat rooms and gay internet
clubs promising they will ...what more can I do to help???
A True Fan
all I hear from you is all talk but no action. Is that money in
the bank yet? Ha! I know you bitches... I'll never see that money,
I can tell you. Go on, prove me wrong. I'm waiting! And if you want
to know what else you can do for a lady like me then you can just
remember me. Always think of me and thats all.It will make my heart
Hey there Granny,
story have touched me deeply. I am so grateful that the program
have been re-broadcasted, so that my friend could also see it. He
also loved it. We spoke of your remarkable story, and I told him
that there is that something in me that wants to visit your grave,
and he told me he felt it too. He said it might be that we need
somebody like you in our lives. I will be at the un-veiling of your
am totally in love with my friend, since he told me that he is gay,
but doesn't seem to love me like I love him. However, I do believe
that we will be together someday, even if it's the last thing I
do. How I will do it, I don't know!!! That's what I would like to
know from you. But don't tell me that I should just whip it out,
cause I think that he fear that I will do it. If he changes clothes,
he always goes to another room, and when I change clothes, he also
leaves the room. I just want to make him happy, he have such a difficult
don't want to pressure him, and I don't want our relationship started
with sex. Call me what you like. You had your believes, and so do
I have mine.
(One of your Million Grandsons)
a lady like me has learnt in this world is that life isn't easy.
It's hard and people are hard. Very hard. That is what I believe,
truly. If the little whore doesn't know what is good for him then
that is his great loss. You can't make some stupid bitch love you.
And that is the truth. I know you young things all think with your
cocks but listen to your mother and drop the whore - no matter how
pretty he may be. Remember there's plenty of randy fishes out there
waiting to be caught. Believe me I know because I caught them all
in my time! Every single one.
were you able to be so consistently successful in getting strangers
to buy you drinks each time you were on the Town? Any tips will
be most appreciated!
all about balls sweety. If you don't have them you don't get fuckall
in this world, believe you me, I know. What I always believed is
that I deserved everything I got given. You must demand it like
you were born to it and the world will believe you. The secret is
I am a star. Everyone knows it. You want free drinks? Be a star!
does a girl approach a guy that she's interested in, in a club or
bar? Girls these days can't hang around and wait to be approached
by guys, we have to make moves as well. But how? We're not as used
to it as guys.
Also, how do you make yourself more approachable? Guys tend to be
intimidated by me...
silly thing. They like to be intimidated! You're not doing it enough
- not like you really mean it. That is the problem with the women
today. You got to give it to them like they've never gotten it!
A man is just a boy in grown up clothes. Be their mother and don't
take any shit and they'll treat you like a fucking queen. They will
come flocking to you.
lover lives in the Cape, I in joburg. We have sex only once a month
when I'm in Cape Town. Problem is, I need more than this though
I love him... What must I do?
else is there to do but have a ball! After all while the cat's away…
What the bitch doesn't know won't hurt him. I can always hook you
up with a rent or two to keep you amused. Enjoy yourself everyday
(like I did, and only the best) and fill up with true love once
a month. Isn't life easy?
I wonder if it is true that in the early eighties you burnt your
mouth because you were drunk and gave a Beetle a blow job?
(skyline/Together bar - barman)
you old bitch! What gutter did you crawl from to antagonise me?
Are you still as pretty a thing as you were then? Of course it's
true! And believe me that Beetle never had it so good!
I'm e-posting you regarding the possibility of writing a screenplay
for a movie about your life. I'm not joking. I would so much like
to write your story. If not for a feature length movie then perhaps
a documentary of mini series ?. I feel that, if correctly treated,
the story will have much to offer other South Africans and people
around the world... Please consider my proposal.
ANSWER: You silly, silly boy. If you had read
my website properly (what do they teach you pretty things these
days in school?) you would have realised that it was not only in
aid of my much deserved fame and glory but also for a documentary
on my life. It's called Metamorphosis. A feature film about me has
already been made once upon a time, but I much prefer this fabulous
documentary. It's a fucking good program, I tell you. Anyone that
doesn't agree is just a jealous bitch. By the way, ARE you a pretty
thing? Send Granny a picture (yes we do have e-mail here, in this
other hemisphere). My goodness if I'd had this Internet thing in
my day, we would have had a ball (not that I didn't anyway) love
boyfriend insists that we have sex every night. He says what's the
point of having a girlfriend otherwise? The thing is I don't really
find sex very interesting. I'd much rather read a Stephen King than
go through all that mess. What should I do?
ANSWER: What should YOU do? It's what he should
do - Dump you immediately! Darling, if you want to keep your man
then stop reading. It rots the mind. Men think about sex all the
time - it's their reason for existence - they're all repressed male
whores (Trust me sweetie I know.) Alternatively try going out with
a librarian (he'll probably be gay and always have lots to read).
in love with my best friend. But we're both men and our girlfriends
don't know that I'd like to shag him. He keeps looking at me funny
when our girls aren't around and when he was riding behind me on
my bike, I swear I could feel a woody against my back. Help me!
ANSWER: God, you poor-white moffies antagonise
me. If its not one thing it's the next. Bitch, bitch, bitch! The
answer is simple, get your boy out of his leather pants and give
him a good riding. Don't tell your bitches - they'd rather not know
anyway and besides even randy boys need someone to cook and clean.
big is big? I'm a black bi boy who prefers girls. But girls always
get a fright when they see it out my pants and run screaming. On
the other hand, the boys seem to love it. The problem is I can only
get boys to sleep with me. Is there anything I can do? Will any
woman want me?
ANSWER: Being dead has its drawbacks.
always seem to have a problem peeling my boiled eggs. I can never
get the shell off without ripping out some of the white. Any tips
ANSWER: What ARE they teaching young ladies
in school these days? Sweetie, its simple. As soon as you've finished
boiling your eggs (around
five minutes, but remember boiling
time depends on altitude) then plunge them into ice-cold water.
Bob's your uncle.
a girl who loves to masturbate. I do it all the time - even at work.
I don't have a boyfriend and I don't know if I want one. My friends
are worried about me as I'm becoming less social. I seem to have
found all the happiness I need with my hands (and the occasional
ANSWER: Listen you silly bitch, you've obviously
been listening to "I Will Survive" a little too much. Soon you'll
be a feminist. We may all say that we'll survive to scare them a
little, but we need men dammit! (Or failing, that at least a lesbian
with high testosterone levels and rough hands). Live by this and
be happy: "No man is an island". Next?
your questions to Granny at: